Online dating guys disappear
Avoidance is the main coping strategy for the discomfort associated with anxiety, and what is more anxiety-inducing than rejecting someone? "Looking back, I really loved this girl and things were perfect, but I honestly was not in a place where I could let myself fall into another relationship."For other men—and let's be honest, plenty of women—the disappearing act is a regular habit.
"I decided to go right to the source and ask guys who have gone MIA what the heck happened. "There have been many instances in which I've met someone—almost always via online dating—and had two, three, or more dates, all fine and fun, and then I just dropped off the map," says Louis, 34.
First up: Alex, 28, who blames his disappearing act on having just gotten out of a serious relationship. He continues, "The norm in my case tends to be that I meet someone, and I like them—we have a good time, there's chemistry—but I can't necessarily see myself committing to them, or can't foresee an actual relationship.
and then for some reason you can't put your finger on, once you meet, they just don't do it for you anymore.
I went round and round in my head until I was in a full panic and decided to tell a friend. "Ghosting, or suddenly disappearing from a relationship with no explanation, has become an all too common topic in my therapy practice," says relationship specialist Chamin Ajjan, M. This can cause someone to take the easy way out and just back away, rather than facing a situation head-on.
As Ajjan explains, "In an attempt to avoid an awkward situation, the ghost' not only causes the ghosted' normal pain associated with rejection but also causes additional pain related to grief, loss, and being disrespected.
When this happens nowadays, we're most likely to do one of two things: ghost them or subject them to what might be the most torturous experience in the world: the Fadeway.
I once went on a date with a man I met online, and I was so sure that if nothing else he'd make for a hot and steamy one night stand.
He’s a no nonsense, kind of a guy and just tells it like it is…be because he’s a native New Yorker!