Dating my ex girlfriend
“If they begin to date the woman you were seeing, it can feel like an extra knife in the back. My rule of thumb is that it's fine unless it is a very good friend.Particularly if you were in a long-term relationship with her,” he says. If it's just an acquaintance from work, and he dated a woman you like, they broke up, then there is no reason why you couldn't date her,” says Sebastian Callow, a London-based dating coach for men. Experts recommend considering how long your friend and his ex dated (anything over six months is tricky territory as the emotional ties tend to be stronger); how old you are (one expert suggested that in our twenties, perceived slights carry more weight than when we're older and “more realistic”); why you're interested (do you lack the self confidence to approach a stranger?“On paper, it sounds like an absolutely horrendous idea, and something most good friends would try to avoid like the plague,” notes Michael Valmont, a dating and social coach.When coming out of a relationship, a friend should be there as a strong supportive shoulder.This rule is almost never stated or enforced among queer communities.If you're gay, you will almost inevitably date a friend's ex at some point.
They dated casually for a few weeks before they split up and we got together, and three years later the same friend gave one of the readings at our wedding.
“And keep in mind that your friend is most likely going to say 'go ahead', even if he doesn't mean it,” she says.
During the conversation, pay attention to your friend's non-verbal communication.
“As guys, we often say we're OK with the situation to put on a brave face, when really we're anything but,” adds Callow.
“Any hesitation or lack of certainty in your friend's tonality? Even if you really like the girl, “if your friend isn't cool with it, I'd still recommend holding back.” At the end of the day, dating a friend's ex is going to be tricky territory all around. If you can't, be prepared for potential complications and be realistic that you might lose a good buddy.
“This is not an episode of Friends where everything seems to magically work out, despite love triangle after love triangle,” says Valmont. It's fun while it lasts, but the devastation it leaves after is not so pleasant.” So maybe step back from Sally, and go find a Jane, or Becky, or anyone else that isn't your friend's ex.